Summary
This blog encourages people to focus on being happy in the present moment rather than relying on external factors in the future. It highlights that constantly chasing destination happiness can lead to missing out on the present and prolonging happiness. The blog suggests seeking therapy to address destination anxiety and provides ways to address it, such as acceptance, self-esteem, mindfulness, coping skills, and goal-setting. It emphasizes the importance of finding a balance between setting goals and living in the present for overall mental health.
Destination Happiness
It’s common for people to think that once people get this next thing, lose 5 pounds, or reach that next stage of life, they will be “happy.” This is a problematic way of thinking, the preoccupation that something exists in the future that will bring you the happiness you seek. It pushes you to rely on external things to achieve happiness. It discounts the idea that you can be happy here and now regardless of the circumstances. It can be problematic because if the things you seek don’t happen, it prolongs being happy; on the other hand, people often reach that next thing and realize they still are not happy. We are constantly focused on the future and ignoring what’s happening in the present. It leaves us craving more rather than appreciating what we have in the present. Holding this belief that you need to do more and achieve more to be a better, happier version of yourself right now makes it impossible to be okay with where you are. In the constant pursuit of happiness, we miss the opportunity to find ourselves in the here and now. This mindset can also impact how you look back on the past. People often reflect on the past and realize they missed out on happiness or did not even realize they could have enjoyed a time and have been happy. Although it’s imperative to have goals and a positive outlook on the future, anticipation can be exciting and worthwhile; balancing that with living in the present is essential. Destination happiness is like a treadmill; it’s never-ending; you are always looking to the future instead of living in the here and now. If you or someone you know deals with destination happiness, seeking support through therapy as an individual, couple, or family can help address destination anxiety that you may be dealing with. Ways that this can be addressed through therapy:
Acceptance- Sometimes, the key to addressing destination happiness and working to be fully present and connect with the here and now is acceptance. Some circumstances and events are unavoidable, so working with a practitioner to accept how things are, regardless of how uncomfortable it can be, can help you appreciate the present moment
Self-esteem– Destination happiness can come from low self-esteem or self-critiquing. If you feel like you always need to do more or be more in the future, it prevents you from being happy now and can increase stress and anxiety. Working with a therapist to understand the route to your destination happiness and, in turn, your self-critiquing can help improve your overall well-being
Practice mindfulness– Often, when people hear about mindfulness, they think of it as meditation or a difficult concept. The reality is mindfulness is simply about being present, which can lead to overall improved well-being and happiness- in the moment. Mindfulness can be the simplest of tasks that you appreciate for what they are. For example, imagine you hate laundry- it’s your most challenging and worst chore. You leave it in the wash dryer for days, and it piles up. If you shift your mindset to look as it is for a moment of mindfulness, it can help! Think of it as an opportunity to sit and use it as a gratitude practice. Little clothes you are folding will not always be little; one day, the clothes won’t be so small, or if you shift to reflect on every piece of clothing you are folding, it is a gratitude practice that you have clothes to fold. Working with your therapist to find a mindfulness practice that works for you can be beneficial!
Develop coping skills– The route of destination happiness or longing for more can be a cause of anxiety and a great deal of stress. You can constantly push yourself to improve or do more, forgetting to live in the moment. Working with your practitioner to decrease anxiety and challenging thought cycles can be an excellent practice!
Goal setting– Although longing for more or believing external factors can make you happy can cause more distress, there are benefits to goal setting. Working with your therapist to set realistic, attainable, and positive goals can prevent destination happiness; a balance of setting goals and being happy in the present is best for your overall mental health! You and your therapist can work to find the perfect happy medium!
Whether destination happiness concerns you, your partner, or your family, seeking professional help can help you manage!