Better Boundaries

I’m sure we have all been in situations where we have let boundaries slip, or perhaps we may not know what boundaries are to begin with! If we feel like we have got to a point where we are not honoring ourselves, and others are not respecting our space, then it may be time to implement some healthy boundaries. How can someone be crossing a boundary?  What are potential signs that you may be needing to set some healthy boundaries? These scenarios can come up in many ways, here are a few examples!  Perhaps people are taking you and your time for granted. Perhaps someone is disrespecting you with name calling or put downs. These situations don’t always have to come from a significant place; it can be quite subtle, but the key is… if we let boundaries slip, we can often feel like the behavior we let slide, is actually getting worse, and our emotional and mental well-being is not being prioritized. No matter the case or the situation, the main focus is implementing so we can respect ourselves and show others how to respect us as well.

What are healthy boundaries?

Healthy boundaries are a set of rules that align with our morals, values, and self-worth. Boundaries are a great way to protect our mental and emotional self from others, and actually help us keep ourselves in line. Imagine a boundary as an invisible line which separates yourself from another person. This line protects you from potential disrespect and shows people what is and what is not acceptable in terms of treatment. The great thing with boundaries is that we get to decide what our own set of rules and beliefs are, and that’s when we get to draw the line at what is and what is not acceptable. The tricky thing is though. if we are not aware of what our own limitations are, or if we are scared to draw the line, then boundaries tend to not get set, and we can often feel like others are not valuing our emotional and physical being.

Why do we need boundaries?

Boundaries allow for us to be authentic and true to our needs. Without healthy boundaries, we are sacrificing our own worth and value, for the sake of others happiness. Once we set boundaries, we let go of people pleasing, and begin to honor ourselves, and let go of worrying of other feelings and opinions.

Learning to set boundaries takes time, patience, and self-reflection! Be patient with yourself, and explore with our counselors more about boundaries, and how you can incorporate them in your self-care routine!  Want to learn more about healthy boundary setting? Struggling with boundaries yourself? Reach out for a free consultation and see how we can work together to improve your boundaries!

Meet our student counsellor and author of this post, Lisa Elmourne!