Everyone gets angry sometimes. When you feel angry, it’s because your body is sending you a message: “Something is wrong!” or “Something is triggering!” This emotion on its own is healthy and often helpful.
Anger becomes problematic when you express it inappropriately. This could involve gaslighting, lashing out, or physically acting on the emotion. The key to mastering your anger is learning how to not be reactive in the moment.
This article contains tips and tricks to help you achieve that goal.
Know your warning signs.
Warning signs of anger are the clues your body gives. These are physical sensations such as sweating, feeling hot, or a clenched jaw. If you can spot your warning signs, you may be able to control your anger before it reaches its peak.
Keep an anger log.
After each anger episode, take a minute or two to record your experience, including your warning signs and triggers. Writing about an episode can help you to organize your thoughts and solve problems. Once you’ve written about a few episodes, check for any patterns that have emerged. Getting to know your angry behaviour better can help you to manage your triggers and stop your anger before it starts.
Use diversions.
Distract yourself. Find something calming to do until you reach a place where you’re better able to deal with the situation. Acting out of anger can have disastrous results. Just remember—the key is not avoidance but to practise dealing with your problems in a healthier way.
Here are some suggestions for diversions:
Count to ten.
Play sudoku or solitaire.
Go for a walk.
Use a guided meditation.
Watch an episode of your favourite show.
Read a book.
Journal.
Try a deep breathing technique.
Practise deep breathing.
Find a deep breathing technique that works for you. Practise it both in a calmer state and when you feel angry. Here’s a technique that you can try today:
Steps of the 4-7-4 technique:
Breathe in—to the count of four.
Hold your breath—to the count of seven.
Breathe out—to the count of four.
Repeat!
Take a time-out.
Take a break from the problem or the argument. If you have someone with whom you frequently argue, set up a system in advance where either one of you can call a time-out. This means that you walk away and take a break until you are both feeling calmer. Then you can come back together to solve the problem.
Acknowledge your feelings.
In the moment of anger, notice how you are feeling. Separate your emotions from your reactions. Take a deep breath, walk out of the room, or splash water on your face. Do whatever you need to do to not be reactive in the moment. Take the control back from your anger!
Getting to the Root of the Problem
Do you struggle with anger? Do you want to learn more tips? Consider reaching out today to a therapist who can help you take control of your anger and rebound to a stronger, healthier self.